Seminars

2017 Seminars

Christian Courtship: Now that I know your real intention, I am interested in knowing more of you!

Assumptions:

  • Both have agreed to start courtship with the intention of marriage
  • Both are Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).

Introduction

  • Marriage is like a marathon not sprint! It requires proper preparation and ‘Tolerance/endurance’
  • Planning may go wrong but planning is key; failure to plan is planning to fail

What is Christian courtship?

  • It is not: Dating or Seeing
  • What is the difference between dating (or seeing) and courtship?
  • It’s a period between the start of courtship & wedding, for
    • Not specifically mentioned in the bible;
    • Courtship is unique; Christian character & maturity is more important in preparation for marriage
    • It’s a time of knowing me, knowing you, including parents

How to get it right and consequences of not getting it right

Proper foundation is required – Luke 6:47-49;

  • Founded on Christ
  • Evaluate friends & family as the relationship progresses
  • Personal & collective stock-taking
  • Sincere assessment of each other – Pass relationship; evacuate the ‘rubbish’ before you build the foundation
  • Convention should be evaluated as reassessed as the relationship progresses
  • Honesty is essential
  • Purity and integrity is key and should be the watchword
  • Supervision encourages- Parents, Pastor or counsellor
  • Courtship is not marriage or arraigned-marriage, it can be terminated; broken courtship is better than broken marriage

Purpose of Courtship

  • Period of acquaintanceship
  • Togetherness; worship, fellowship, prayer,
  • Seek Knowledge: Bible Study (Hosea 6:4), Christian Literatures, counsellors etc.
  • Communication; family background, career ambition, personality profile, values (e.g. respect, attitude to money, in-laws etc.)
  • Agreement (Amos 3:3), same/similar understanding is required before marriage on dressing, family size; church to attend, where to live.
  • Develop Companionship; how compatible are you socially, emotionally etc.
  • Planning; Introduction, engagement, wedding

When you are at a cross road (Joseph/Mary – Jesus Parents)

  • Stop; do not proceed until you are sure or known issues are resolved
  • Seek counselling from your Pastor or counsellors

Duration

  • No duration specified in the bible; each courtship is unique e.g. Isaac/Rebecca (Gen 24: 62 – 67, Jacob/Leah/Rachel (Gen 29:18 – 28)
  • 2ys recommended depending on circumstances

Possible Obstacles

  • Parental Objection; don’t ignore, be offended, elope or discouraged
  • Distance
  • Past relations or disappointments
  • Illness or tragedies

Broken Courtship

  • May be caused by; incompatibility, pride, immaturity, immorality etc.

Activities you can engage in during this period

  • Prayers
  • Meeting families and friends
  • Pre- wedding counselling
  • Workshops/Seminars
  • Medicals
  • General preparation for wedding