Christian Courtship: Now that I know your real intention, I am interested in knowing more of you!
- Both have agreed to start courtship with the intention of marriage
- Both are Christian (2 Corinthians 6:14-15).
- Marriage is like a marathon not sprint! It requires proper preparation and ‘Tolerance/endurance’
- Planning may go wrong but planning is key; failure to plan is planning to fail
What is Christian courtship?
- It is not: Dating or Seeing
- What is the difference between dating (or seeing) and courtship?
- Platonic; No physical contact (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
- It’s a period between the start of courtship & wedding, for
- Not specifically mentioned in the bible;
- Courtship is unique; Christian character & maturity is more important in preparation for marriage
- It’s a time of knowing me, knowing you, including parents
How to get it right and consequences of not getting it right
Proper foundation is required – Luke 6:47-49;
- Founded on Christ
- Evaluate friends & family as the relationship progresses
- Personal & collective stock-taking
- Sincere assessment of each other – Pass relationship; evacuate the ‘rubbish’ before you build the foundation
- Convention should be evaluated as reassessed as the relationship progresses
- Honesty is essential
- Purity and integrity is key and should be the watchword
- Supervision encourages- Parents, Pastor or counsellor
- Courtship is not marriage or arraigned-marriage, it can be terminated; broken courtship is better than broken marriage
Purpose of Courtship
- Period of acquaintanceship
- Togetherness; worship, fellowship, prayer,
- Seek Knowledge: Bible Study (Hosea 6:4), Christian Literatures, counsellors etc.
- Communication; family background, career ambition, personality profile, values (e.g. respect, attitude to money, in-laws etc.)
- Agreement (Amos 3:3), same/similar understanding is required before marriage on dressing, family size; church to attend, where to live.
- Develop Companionship; how compatible are you socially, emotionally etc.
- Planning; Introduction, engagement, wedding
When you are at a cross road (Joseph/Mary – Jesus Parents)
- Stop; do not proceed until you are sure or known issues are resolved
- Seek counselling from your Pastor or counsellors
- No duration specified in the bible; each courtship is unique e.g. Isaac/Rebecca (Gen 24: 62 – 67, Jacob/Leah/Rachel (Gen 29:18 – 28)
- 2ys recommended depending on circumstances
- Parental Objection; don’t ignore, be offended, elope or discouraged
- Past relations or disappointments
- Illness or tragedies
- May be caused by; incompatibility, pride, immaturity, immorality etc.
Activities you can engage in during this period
- Meeting families and friends
- Pre- wedding counselling
- General preparation for wedding